Matters that Matter

Ever wondered why we observe such a wide variety in behavioral pattern of people around us? Some are orthodox while others are just liberal; some utter only abuses while others  speak civilized; some are timid and shy while others are bold and daring; some are taciturn while others extroverts. Having pondered over it for a while, I abruptly conclude that it is the nature of a person which decides which side of the coin he is going to be in but on deeper introspection realization dawns upon me that there is a bigger factor which dominates such human behavior. It is your UPBRINGING.

I could get the rationale behind this clearer when I took the example of my own. I have been bought up in a very protective environment. My dad was so conservative about us kids that he never let us experience the harsh life outside. Our world was confined within a virtual capsule inside which everything was safe and the world was a pleasant place to live in. I grew up not knowing the ‘tricks’ to survive in this harsh world and when the time came when I had to use them, I faltered and am still learning; taking baby steps.

My dad on the contrast is the ultimate survival stuff. He has been shouldering responsibilities since he was 16, has struggled a lot, has fallen many times only to rise stronger next time and as a consequence of this has learnt how to survive in this world. Unfortunately when it came to passing those skills to me or at least letting me learn myself, he became all protective.

The way you are bought up in the family is the molding factor of your personality. Your sun sign traits may indicate that you are a shy guy but growing up in a lineage full of clamor can turn the whole story around. Parents have a great role in shaping the personality of their kids. Under proper guidance they can bloom to the fullest of their abilities but under the shadow of neglect or protectiveness they can turn outcast or even an evil to the society.

Beasts stop feeding their young ones after they grow old enough to seek food themselves. Birds push their chicks off the nest so that they learn to fly, tigress teaches her cubs to hunt soon after they are fit enough to stand. Kids who are allowed to have their way but in a controlled environment grow up to became apt candidates to survive and thrive in this world. They learn how to deal with people and problems, how to negotiate, to sense the danger; they know their way around in this world. On the contrary, the kids who have a conservative and restricted upbringing grow up without knowing essential things like socializing, expressing your views, to stand for your talk.

Ever wondered why certain people have a cheap mentality towards thing in life, why some couples are always found hurling a volley of abuses at each other? It is by the virtue of the family they are bought up in, the cultures they are taught by elders while they are on that learning curve and obviously by what they observe around in their home. A kid who is growing up witnessing only violence and petty fights around him is most likely to make that his world. For him that becomes a normal condition. Whereas a child bought up under the shade of values and discipline is likely to embrace that in his life ahead. Of course there are exceptions but former is the most likely thing to happen.

In school we had a fable about two brothers who got separated in their infancy in a mishap. One went on to become a king and other was bought up by animals in a jungle. Years later while hunting, the king happens to capture this strange creature that has the looks of a human but behaves like an animal. They cut his hair, clean him up and are surprised to find striking resemblance of the creature with the king. The story then goes on to describe the difference between the behavioral traits of the king and his brother. The king was civilized, talked human language and had all hominal features while his brother had the beastly attributes. It thus portrays the effect of upbringing in different conditions. One of the brothers was molded into the personality of a king while the other was bought up among beasts in the jungle and accordingly imbibed their behavioral traits.

The environment in which you are brought up plays a pivotal role in deciding your future traits; parents and family have a lion’s share in shaping their kid’s personality.